Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
