you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
