Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
