No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
we made out on top of his cat.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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