If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
