i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
