and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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