He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We left the knife in your bed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
