i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
