A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
