Too much gin, very little bucket
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize