i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
