If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize