your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
