Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
