Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
