Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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