well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
