That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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