I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
