I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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