I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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