no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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