it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
