I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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