I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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