Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
