He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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