Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
