u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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