It's like God shit irony all over that family
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize