I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
