Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
