Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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