It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
