i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
