Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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