If that was your dad, he is hot
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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