I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
