She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
