i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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