I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
