i'm lost and i look like a hooker
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
