Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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