First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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