I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
