he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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