She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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