By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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