Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
