Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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