Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
