So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
