yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
