Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
please come you make the beer taste better
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
