My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
