Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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