First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
