the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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