just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize