I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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