Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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