My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
