i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
