We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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