I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize